Lorraine's Aikido Origin
It seems fitting, as I reach my 6th year anniversary of practice this week, to reflect on how it all started. (Although how it got started isn’t as interesting as all that followed. “Reveal what is hidden” has been true for me to some degree. But this is about how it got started.)
I’d been feeling like I needed something new. I’d been doing workouts at home (I have a dedicated space in my basement) and didn’t want to give them up – but felt I should add something that included other people. Notice the “should” vs. “wanted to”. I’m introverted and need to push myself to interact with others outside of work. If I don’t, I’ll end up as the crazy cat lady. I might end up as the crazy cat lady no matter what.
I was on a work trip in Marin and chatting with a co-worker and he told me about his Aikido practice. It sounded interesting – I liked workouts that incorporated martial arts moves and had long thought it would be fun to practice one. So I did some research and found a couple of dojos in the Twin Cities. A few months after the trip, I watched a class at TCAC. I felt very welcomed at that visit and, a few months later, walked in on a Sunday afternoon for my first class which happened to be with Galen.
I had no context to understand what I experienced that day. Galen seemed very intense and a bit serious. I came to understand it was his belief in the practice that radiated out from him.
The practice was extremely overwhelming for some time and my brain could only handle about 45 minutes before it went soft. Some days were discouraging. Most of the time, though, it was pure joy and childlike discovery. In fact, the childlike discovery was intoxicating. I had no context with which to judge myself. Galen would probably say I still don’t. Or maybe he did say it. Nonetheless now I judge.
If you haven’t seen me melt down you will someday. Judgement leads to frustration leads to tears and a meltdown. Not a toddler kick-and-scream meltdown. It’s a very sophisticated Ican’tdothiswhydoIbotherhowcometheygetitandIdon’t kind of meltdown. I’ve been told the external meltdown is lower in intensity than how it feels internally. I’m grateful for that. And you’ll be happy to know it’s not a weekly event. I’m grateful for that too.
I don’t want to give the impression there is no joy anymore. There is joy. There is joy watching someone begin their journey in the art, in caring for the dojo, in Sky’s smile, and the rare occasion where I realize muscle memory kicked in.
Who will share their story next???
I had no context to understand what I experienced that day. Galen seemed very intense and a bit serious. I came to understand it was his belief in the practice that radiated out from him.
The practice was extremely overwhelming for some time and my brain could only handle about 45 minutes before it went soft. Some days were discouraging. Most of the time, though, it was pure joy and childlike discovery. In fact, the childlike discovery was intoxicating. I had no context with which to judge myself. Galen would probably say I still don’t. Or maybe he did say it. Nonetheless now I judge.
If you haven’t seen me melt down you will someday. Judgement leads to frustration leads to tears and a meltdown. Not a toddler kick-and-scream meltdown. It’s a very sophisticated Ican’tdothiswhydoIbotherhowcometheygetitandIdon’t kind of meltdown. I’ve been told the external meltdown is lower in intensity than how it feels internally. I’m grateful for that. And you’ll be happy to know it’s not a weekly event. I’m grateful for that too.
I don’t want to give the impression there is no joy anymore. There is joy. There is joy watching someone begin their journey in the art, in caring for the dojo, in Sky’s smile, and the rare occasion where I realize muscle memory kicked in.
Who will share their story next???
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